


being legally dead is difficult (and other lessons learnt by the trooper formerly known as fives)

by captain_fives



Series: the death and subsequent life of arc trooper fives [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anxiety, CT-21-0408 | CT-1409 | Echo & CT-27-5555 | ARC-5555 | Fives are Twins, CT-27-5555 | Fives | ARC-5555 Lives, Chronic Illness, Chronic Pain, Clones Are Naturally Affectionate, Depression, Don't Even Think About It, Everyone Has Issues, Family Bonding, Forced Family to Found Family, Gen, Identity Issues, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Mando'a, Mental Health Issues, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Personal Growth, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Siblings, Self-Worth Issues, Sibling Bonding, Siblings, Team Bonding, Trust Issues, clone culture, no clonecest, selective mutism, sensory issues, touch-starvation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:14:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25670425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captain_fives/pseuds/captain_fives
Summary: Chronicling various adventures had by Ghost and the Bad Batch in the time between the Coruscant Incident and Anaxes.Hunter learns to balance leader and sibling. Wrecker's boisterous persona hides a surprising amount of wisdom. Crosshair finds his carefully-constructed walls crumbling. Tech becomes stronger than anyone ever expected. Ghost grows into his role as the infiltrator, the quiet one, the mentor and oldest brother and so many things he's never been before.(Hunter worries he's not good enough to lead. Wrecker struggles to be the team's morale. Crosshair can't look at himself in the mirror. Tech is stuck in limbo between teenager and soldier.And Ghost is a dead man - and that's only the beginning.)
Relationships: Clone Force 99 | Bad Batch & CT-27-5555 | Fives | ARC-5555
Series: the death and subsequent life of arc trooper fives [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1809670
Comments: 16
Kudos: 105





	being legally dead is difficult (and other lessons learnt by the trooper formerly known as fives)

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to the side/backstory for _ghost and the machine!_ This is my attempt to explain the character development evident in the main story without clogging that up with too much exposition and flashbacks, and also because I just really enjoy writing these characters and this dynamic. There will also no doubt be some fun cross-references you can spot between the two stories.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fives wakes up. Then again, he can't be Fives anymore.
> 
> After all, Fives is dead.

Consciousness returns in a slow trickle: faint voices, a repetitive tapping, and the sounds of a medical monitor on the edge of his awareness before touch and scent and taste come back; the pinch of an IV in his hand when he shifts; a strange fuzzy feeling on his tongue; a faint tang he doesn't recognise but at least isn't blood.

He opens his eyes just a crack, cautiously glancing around. The room is darkened, a small lamp in the corner allowing enough light to see by, and he can tell it's some kind of tiny medical bay, probably on a small ship with limited space. Not the _Resolute_ or any cruiser then. Where is he? Last he can remember, he'd followed the Marshal's instructions and taken the expected stun bolt to the shoulder. He'd passed out right as he'd toppled over the edge of the vertical flyway tunnel.

Well. He isn't dead, at least, so there's a logical assumption to be made there.

And, he finds, turning his head to find out the source of the tapping sound, he's not alone. There's a trooper checking the monitors by the side of the medical bed, focused on a datapad. At least, Fives _thinks_ they're a trooper. They don't look a whole lot like one.

Despite the plastoid armour they're wearing, they're very... small.

Well. At least he's not by himself in an unfamiliar room. He coughs past the dryness in his throat, and the unknown trooper nearly jumps out of their skin, clutching the datapad to their chest before composing into an almost unsettling calm. Fives pauses for a brief second, and decides he doesn't currently have the brainpower to unpack that; there are somewhat more pressing issues at hand, anyway. 'Sorry,' he croaks out, noting the faint squint of confusion at the apology. 'Any chance I could get a sitrep on... everything?'

The trooper clears their throat, blinking down at their datapad. 'Well, I would hope you at least remember who you are and have most of your prior memories intact, or this is going to be an extensive conversation.' Their voice is oddly accented, very precise and strangely youthful despite its serious tone. They sound almost like a cadet, he realises, and something in his gut twists at the thought. 

He tries to keep his expression level, nodding in reply. 'Last thing I remember is taking a stun bolt to the shoulder, and given that that was the plan... and I don't seem to be dead... I'm going to assume you're part of the team that was rescuing me?'  
'Tech. One-fourth of Clone Force 99, a special ops unit answering to the Marshal Commander. And yes, the plan was indeed successful.'

Tech dials up the lights, turning a notch back when Fives begins to squint at the brightness. 'You're in the medical room on our ship, the _Havoc Marauder._ I suggest you get comfortable with it, you'll be recovering for at least a week, by my calculations.'  
'What'd I get jabbed with?'  
'An as-yet unidentified drug,' is the matter-of-fact answer. 'I don't know the source, but my initial tests indicate it was very complex, designed to induce paranoia and irrational behaviour as well as eventual loss of function.'

If Fives' throat wasn't already dry, he's fairly sure it would have been at the admission. 'It would have killed me?'  
'In a way, it did,' Tech replies. 'ARC Trooper Fives died last night on Coruscant, and only seven people are any the wiser.'

* * *

There's four of them, he finds when they give him the sitrep later that day.

Tech is their slicer and unofficial medic, and it's much clearer in a group how small he actually is; Fives files that information away at the back of his head with the rest of the potential concerns. Then there's Crosshair, their sniper, who never meets anyone's eye and stands sullenly against the wall; something tells him he won't be easy to get along with, if at all. Wrecker is their tank, and definitely the most cheerful of the four even if there's something not quite right hiding behind his wide grin and boisterous mannerisms. Their leader is Sergeant Hunter, who speaks in a tone oddly quiet for his position, and Fives' first impression of the man is that he looks absolutely exhausted.

An odd collection of _vode,_ to be certain.

By the time they've told him what they know - which isn't much - he's compiled a mental list of Things He Needs To Do As Soon As Possible. _(1. get back on my feet._ _2\. find out more about these new_ vode _, and why I've never heard of them. 3. find out what's supposed to be in those gaps in my memory, and fast. 4. sleep. 5. find out what I'm supposed to do next.)_

His vision is blurring, and Tech waves a hand in front of his face. 'Maybe we should leave this until later. You'll probably be sleeping a lot for the next -' Fives doesn't catch the rest of the sentence as his eyes fall shut, limbs like _beskar_ weights and his head full of polyfluff and duracrete all at once. 

Guess he's crossing number 4 off the list first, then.

* * *

When he comes to again, the medroom is empty, and the ship quiet. He eases himself up to a sitting position, and lets out a frustrated breath as his arms tremble under his own weight, legs shifting but refusing to cooperate. What the _hells_ had Nala Se given him? She certainly hadn't obtained it from regular channels; nothing like this would ever be in any Republic medbay. Tech had estimated a week recovering in the medroom, but no doubt he would still have a lot of work to do to get back to full strength.

Fives leans his head back against the wall, unsettled by how loud every breath and shift of fabric becomes in the near-silence of the ship. He's never been anywhere that felt this _empty_ , not even Kamino or any of the occupied planets he'd found himself on with the 501st. Then again, even in those places that should have been cold and lifeless, he'd always been surrounded by _vode._

He glances around, finds a chronometer; it marks a time around mid-night cycle.

It doesn't feel like it. There's none of Jesse's snoring or Kix's sleep-talk - they'd tested it once, him and Tup, and the medic could hold full conversations, if slightly nonsensical ones, in his sleep. No Rex getting up to check on them all multiple times a night because he wouldn't sleep at all otherwise. No Echo crawling onto his bunk because he hated sleeping alone, no quiet, amusing conversations with his twin until someone told them to shut up.

(There'd been no Echo for a while now, anyway.)

A quiet sob escapes him, as he stares out into the shadowed room. He's never liked being alone.

He feels like a clumsy young cadet again, desperate for his _vod'ike_ to be nearby because he can't be by himself. He wants Kix to come and fix whatever's wrong with him, reassure him that he's going to be fine because Kix never lies if he can help it and he knows all his brother's tells anyway. He wants Jesse to come and sit with him, because he knows Fives hates being alone in the medbay at night - because sleeping in the medbay means dreaming and dreaming means _DroidbaitCutupHevy99EchoHardcase_ and everything else he can't push away under pain and painkillers. He wants Rex, wants his _ori'vod_ to hold him when he ends up crying because he always feels so _useless_ when he's injured.

There are four other people on the ship, but Fives has never felt so alone.

He lies back down, presses his palms against his burning eyes, and tries to ignore it. There are more important things to overthink about right now. First and foremost, he's going to get himself out of the medcot. Then - and perhaps most importantly - he's going to figure out who he's going to be going forward.

Because ARC Trooper Fives is dead, and everything he is belongs to a ghost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next - Lesson Two: How to get out of bed.


End file.
